I am just going to ramble about this movie I want to talk about. I have very limited time today due to work, but after watching this for my second time last night I just wanted to “write” a little. Pardon all the smushy writing, I am just gonna word vomit a little.
If you don’t know by now, I really enjoy watching/listening to things I don’t like. I really like figuring out why something doesn’t work for me. This Rob Zombie the filmmaker, his “Halloween”, she is a film I just don’t get. I almost can’t wrap my brain around it. I have not read a single critical article on the film, nor have I read a single thing about what Rob Zombie hoped to do with this film. Did he want put his own stamp on a Halloween film? Did he want to break free from the later sequels? (Note I am a giant fan and apologist of Halloween 2-H20) Because if he did, that makes it even more mind boggly.
He starts the film with a prologue. All very typical Rob Zombie white trash boner everywhere. I almost want to salute Zombie for doing the opposite of what every one understands about what makes the original Halloween so great. The Shape (or Michael Myers, or Kirk Mask Killer Giant Man) is awesome because he is nothing, he is faceless evil, he is all the fears you want to put in it, but Zombie wants to drag The Shape down to the worst thing ever, a human. He wants to put a face under the mask. He wants us to understand WHY he is the way he is (like the worst Eminem album ever; or Popeye before him).
That kills things for ME, right off the bat. Michael Myers is now a fucked up kid from a fucked up place, great Mr. Zombone, you are going to do things your way, BUT if you were going to do that, why is the next half of the movie an almost beat by beat remake of the original? As soon as we meet Laurie is is very similar to the original film with Zombie playing with our expectation only twice near the end. “Oh, Owen, it is really unfair for you to compare this film to the original, because Romb Zobbee has his own vision?!” IF he has his own vision, why is he so fucking shackled to that past? Why is he using all the iconic music? Why is he hanging his flabby new parts on the strong skeleton of the original? I hated the prologue, but if the film went off on its own, I could respect that. Instead Rab Zlambie does what he always does, mixes up film stocks, makes people bleed a lot (from the mouth!), and shows lots of nudity in gross boring color pallets. I wish I could say it is artful, hell, I would be happy to call it schlocky fun gross pow-pow, but I can’t.
It really reminds me of Brian Singers Superman Returns. Both films use a greater films iconic music, characters, etc. and try to break away on their own (I guess?), but instead are crushed by the greater film that came before it. What really hurts the film is that honestly, HONESTLY, the film is just not directed well. Wab Zombers is just not that great at staging horror (yeah, I am not sure how The Devils Rejects happened either!?), I don’t think the dude knows how to place a camera and stage actors, at all. I get people that might dig his visual aesthetic, but for me it really is just blase Tennessee carny fair haunted house stuff all puked up on the screen. If I was studying Mr Zambone from an auteur perspective one thing I know for sure, he loves his wife’s butt. Loves that thing. He has made at least three films as an ode to dat ass. As a film fan, I hope Rind Zombs keeps those films private from now on.
come for owen’s film criticism, stay for his funny rob zombie alternate monikers.