Blue Line station I needed to use to get home was flooded. I nearly took the goddamned Milwaukee bus home (which would’ve been just about the worst thing that has ever happened to me) before checking out the alternate subway entrance and finding it to be less flooded.
My Blue Line train home ran great until the last five seconds of the trip when it decided to break down just as it was pulling into my station. Even though I was at the station I had to wait five minutes for the doors to open because the conductor hadn’t been able to pull the train in all the way. I was starving and I could literally see my apartment out the window.
Nothing disastrous on its own, but kind of an unusual amount of bullshit for one day.
I like that a common office problem for me is “boss’s cute German Shepherd wants to play with me.” She likes me the best and always comes to me first because I can’t ignore her. If I try, she just drops the slobbery chew toy in my lap and waits for me to pick it up, then jumps immediately into crazy play-dog mode when I do. Then she really doesn’t leave me alone until her owner (or her owner’s assistant) comes to rangle her up. Usually that only takes a couple of minutes, but today she was with me for 15 minutes and I could not get her to leave me alone. After a certain point I got really paranoid that people were judging me for playing with the dog instead of working, so I actually threw the toy into the hall and closed the door. But when she came back and saw the door closed, she started crying and whimpering and scratching at the door. It was the guiltiest I have ever felt. So of course I let her back in and continued humoring her until I was rescued.
This morning I half-woke up around 6 and felt amazing for one of the first times in the history of me waking up. I immediately fell back asleep and woke up again at about 7:30 with sharp abdominal and chest pains every time I inhaled. I thought I was going to have to call in sick again and go to the hospital, but it turned out to just be bad gas.
Comedy Central’s criminally underrated Kroll Show devoted most of last night’s episode to a reality show pawn-porn parody called Pawnsylvania. In it, Nick Kroll’s Philadelphian character swapped pawn shops with Jon Daly’s Pittsburgher and verbal hideousness ensued. These accents are so hard to nail (I was flummoxed when Toni Collette was praised for her Philly accent in The Sixth Sense, which was…not a Philly accent), and also hard to differentiate, though they are substantially distinct.
Everything about this from now until forever.
Alright. This is my favorite thing. Here’s another clip.
I think I might hate myself but these made me laugh out loud no less than three times.
Oh my god.
i would literally watch this show all day.
Nick Kroll is seriously underrated and Kroll Show is probably my favorite sketch comedy show on TV right now.